But since becoming a mum my feelings have changed not in the sense that I don't want any of the things that I previously did because I still do but its more to do with the fact I feel now that I am classed as an "adult" and I have responsibilities such as mortgage, bills and having children to feed, you know just everyday stuff that all us adults have to do. I now have soooo much fear of failing because I have so much more to lose and I can't afford to make wrong decisions.
I have had a variety of jobs since I was 14, my first job was in Woolworths as a sales assistant and it kind of went from there, I have always been very lucky to find better jobs as soon as I left one.
I have also worked as a lifeguard, a waitress, a leisure assistant, I qualified as an Aerobics and Aqua Aerobics instructor I when I was around 19/20 and taught classes for a couple of years at a local hotel but I didn't feel very confident or that I was any good at it so that started to get me down so I started thinking about what I could do and I decided that I wanted to become a Wedding Planner or work within the wedding industry by pure luck one of the ladies that used to attend one of my classes mentioned to me that she knew a lady that worked in Events/Weddings at a hotel and that she was sure if I got in touch with her that she could give me some advise about how to get into the industry.
When I got in touch with Beverley (Wedding Planer) it actually turned out that her assistant was going on Maternity leave and she was looking for someone to cover her maternity and I ended up applying for the job and getting it, I was so happy and overwhelmed it was an amazing job and leaving it is the one biggest regrets I have because I loved it but I was offered another job which was more money and a more challenging role at the time I thought it would be a good career move but as it turned out it wasn't, it was by far the biggest mistake I have ever made.
From there I then got another opportunity to work in a call centre on a part time basis and this was only ever meant to be a temp job just whilst we saved to buy a house as I still worked full time at the hotel, but I got pregnant soon after starting there and after my maternity I decided to just go back to the call centre as I couldn't commit to hotel hours with a baby it wouldn't be fair on me or the hotel and the call centre gave me the hours and support that I needed 7 years later I'm still there and although its a great job and a great company that I work for my passion is still within events and Weddings.
So a couple of years ago I decided that I wanted to become a Bridal Make up artist and started watching YouTube and reading blogs, I am still chasing this dream but the course I would like to do is quite expensive and in between everything else and normal life it is quite a big financial commitment, I know that I will get there in the end, its just hard to commit to something that involves an initial financial investment when you don't know if you are going to succeed or not.
I'm terrified of failing and because over the last few years I have lost some confidence in myself so the fear is even more apparent this is the main reason why I decided to start my blog and my YouTube channel to build on my confidence and I feel that its a good way to teach myself how I can improve on my make up skills.
Starting my YouTube channel and blog is something that I had been thinking about for a couple of years but I just kept coming up with excuses as to why people wouldn't watch my videos or read my blog, and then after speaking to my cousin Catia I decided that I should just give it a go, at the end of the day I had nothing to lose, I just thought what's the worst that could happen!!! Life is too short and I feel that with each video I gain more confidence and knowledge.
I know I'm only just starting this journey and I hope that I will be able to achieve my goal of becoming a successful Bridal Make up artist, and I am so glad that I finally decided to start my blog and my YouTube channel I don't know if it will lead anywhere but for now I am just super proud of myself for simply just starting them!!! Onwards and upwards!!!
I hope to inspire people to give in to the fear of the unknown and have the confidence to follow your dreams. I have seen a lot of quotes recently on social media and one has really stuck on my mind.......
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