This post was meant to be about how I am finding it hard to deal with my daughters mood swings, behaviour and attitude over the last 2 years or so, mainly in the last 18 months she has had moments where she totally loses the plot and has had huge tantrums, its been a bit like terrible 2s all over again, however over the last couple of weeks I've noticed that she is getting back to her normal self and I don't feel its fair on her for me to write a whole post regarding her behaviour when in reality she is not that bad, after speaking to my mummy friends it is just a phase that she has been going through and she is also just reacting to a huge adjustment in our lives the birth of her baby brother.
Yes it has been difficult but no one ever said parenting is easy, and I have noticed more and more that all she is doing is crying out for our attention although she is going about it the wrong way and after all she is only 7!!
If you try to see things from her point of view she has had our undivided attention for 5 and a half years and all of a sudden we expect her to just deal with the fact that there is now a little person who needs us more than she does, in her eyes we love him more because we spend more time with him, feeding him, changing him etc... So I feel that she thinks by being naughty she then gets our attention, and because of the guilt I felt to begin with(for being so busy with a baby and not having much time for her) I was very soft on her but over the last few weeks we have done our best to take action and make her aware that her behaviour is not acceptable, we have started her behaviour chart again and we reward when she does good things and on the other hand if she is naughty then we don't reward her, we take her tablet away, we don't take her places she wants to go like cinema and swimming. These are now all rewards for good behaviour and it seems to be working well, she enjoys getting ticks and stickers so it works well for us.
I also now make sure that me and Elsie have mummy and daughter time, this can vary from going out to dinner, shopping, cinema or even making a video together its our time on our own which I feel is so important and she is at such a lovely age now where we can have a proper conversation its great.
I think the main lesson that we have learnt is that we have had to adjust our parenting and we realised where we were going wrong and that the way we were dealing with it was only making it worst, so we have had to be stricter and most importantly deal with the guilt that we shouldn't just let her be naughty and give in, she will not be an only child any more we now have 2 children and we have to spilt our time between them and do our best to make sure that both of them feel as equally loved!! Its all a learning curve and we are doing the very best that we can!!
Being a parent is the hardest and most important thing you do in life and most of us worry whether we are doing a good job and some days keeping them alive is the most you can achieve and its hard to accept that this is enough, the perfect parent doesn't exist and we are all different, what works for some doesn't work for others, its one of those subjects that can be argued forever and one that most people probably will never agree on, because not only are all parents different so are children, you kind have to feel your way a little as there are no instructions, no courses, no degrees needed but yet its probably the hardest thing of all, I personally don't like calling it a job, because to me its not a job its a choice I made, being a mum is a part of who I am, and being a parent is not something you do 9-5 and then go home and switch off from it all, its a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week kinda deal from the minute they are born until the end, I'm pretty sure that even as adults our parents worry about us, and with us when our children grow up and become adults we to will still think and worry about them and they will still be our priority.
The point I am trying to make is that no matter your doubts, fears and worries along as your babies/children are alive, happy and healthy the majority of the time then you are doing an AMAZING job!!! We are so lucky to have 2 amazing children and I am thankful everyday that I have them and that they are healthy and happy, at the end of the day its why we work so hard and why we do what we do its to give them a happy and healthy life and hope that they turn out alright!! Well if we are honest we want them to be incredible not just alright 😛!!!! But along as they are happy then I am happy!!!
Having said all of this and how she has found it hard to adjust from being an only child to have a little brother, I have to say that towards him she is incredible and she is the most amazing big sister!!! So proud of her for that, she has so much time and patience for him its amazing she was definitely meant to be a big sister.
I am sharing this in the hope that I can make someones day better!!! At times like most mums I feel like Im failing at this whole thing and its nice just to remind myself that actually Im doing ok and I will always do the best that I can and thats all you can do, don't be too hard on yourself we are all in the same boat, learning everyday how to be a better parent!! Along as it works for you and your children then your doing the right thing!!!
Thank you for taking time to read my blog and hope you enjoyed it!!
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| Just chilling!!! |
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| Lets sit in a tray and read books!!! |
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| Got to love a good selfie!!! |
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| Snack time!!! |
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| Big Hugs!!! AAWWW my babies!!! |
