I had started this post a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling very emotional about not being ready to go back to work, I was feeling so anxious, but I decided to restart the post as I am now 2 days away from going back and feeling a lot more relaxed about it, and I think the main reason is because I have come to terms with the fact that this is happening and I have to just get on with it. I also feel that having a catch up with the girls from work really helped and it made me remember how lucky I am to have such brilliant work friends!!!
Although I'm still not singing and dancing about going back I do feel a lot better about it, don't get me wrong I would much rather stay at home with my babies than go work, but unfortunately that's not an option for me, I do enjoy working always have but when me and my husband decided to have children we also decided that we want to spend all the time we can with them especially when they are little as we are fully aware that one day they will grow up and go live their lives as we all do. So while we have them with us we want to make the most of it. So I feel when I am at work its time that I am missing out with the kids but on the other hand going back means we will be better off financially and can treat them and take them on days out and holidays and enjoy the nicer things in life.
To be able to give them the best upbringing possible we always do our best to sort out work and our lives around the children, we have always been that way even when we just had Elsie. We are very lucky that both of our employers are really flexible as I will be going back on a set rota my husband will work around my shifts so that on a daily basis one of us will have the kids (Elsie is now at school so during term time in the day we will only have Cody) on the odd weekend that both of us have to work we are very lucky that we have family and friends that have offered to look after them for us, but I do feel quite bad as before we only had to sort out childcare for 1 child but now its for a child and a baby, so it is a lot more work to give to people, I know that they don't mind, especially as they will mainly go to our parents and they love spending time with the grandchildren but I can't help feeling guilty.
I am so glad that I now feel much calmer about going back to work, I was really worried about everything but I know that it will all work out, I was sat thinking about everything and making it such a big deal that I kinda had to give myself a little pep talk and I was like "Letty you are going back to the office for around 2 weeks and then your back working from home!!! so stop being so silly it is what it is, everything always works out and this will too, now snap out of it!!!" LOL sometimes we ladies like to complicate things far too much, but hey ho that is just how I am eventually I come back down to earth and realise that there are much bigger problems in the world.
I just wanted to share this because I know how difficult it is to leave our little babies when we first go back to work, but actually it is ok to do that and everything will be ok. In my opinion I think that we feel guilty about leaving them and that then turns into anxiety and stress, but it takes a while for us to realise that we have no reason to feel guilty that we are leaving them with people whom we trust very much and that we know will look after them and keep them safe.
Hope you enjoy this post, thank you for taking time to read it.
Lots of love
Letty xxxxx
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